Pregnancy can be a joyous time if you are healthy and there is no interfere between the pregnancy and medical problems .
When you first realize that you might be pregnant and it is something you have been longing for your joy is tenfold.
When it is actually confirmed although you had no reason to doubt it the joy is increased.
I want to tell you my story which went from sheer misery to a joyous ending.
In the early sixties relaxation classes and suchlike were unheard of so a visit to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy, then it was further visits at appointed times, as a result you did not learn a lot about anything and were rather in the dark or I should say ignorant of most facts.
In my fifth month of pregnancy we went to live in my husband’s home town where we shared a house with his aunt and uncle.
I was very happy and it was a lovely area so we had no problems. John’s parents lived about fifteen miles away and we used to visit about once a week.
I was in my sixth month of pregnancy when I noticed a blood stain, it worried me a bit so the next day I went to visit the doctor.
I explained the problem to him and he seemed rather annoyed with me for some reason which I couldn’t understand why.
He told me it was nothing to worry about and quite normal at that stage, this stopped me worrying about it.
Three weeks later when I got up one morning it had started again and it was worse this time, I couldn’t go to see the doctor after what he had said so I got ready and decided to go and see my mother in law.
This meant a journey of fifteen miles and two buses. I arrived there and explained to her what was happening, she was almost in a panic and said we had to go straight back.
As soon as we arrived she accompanied me to a local clinic where they advised me to go home and go straight to bed and stay there for at least two weeks.
Gave Birth To Pre-Matured Baby
That same night I woke with pains in my stomach and went to the toilet , it was there that the waters broke, my scream brought my husband running and straight away he phoned an ambulance.
My son was born that night weighing just 2lb 5oz, they told me that lived through the first week he would have every chance.
He was in an incubator but they were not so advanced in those days. One week passed and I went home, everything was fine and we chose names for our son.
My Son Died On That Day
My sister came to stay for a few days, we getting ready to go to the hospital to see my son when there was a knock on the door.
A policeman stood there and asked for my husband, I had a feeling that something was wrong, I told him that John was at work and he asked me where he was working.
I was getting alarmed by then and I asked the policeman what he wanted to see him about, he was reluctant to say anything but in the end he said that the hospital had phoned and they wanted him to phone them. He left saying he would go to see my husband.
As soon as he had gone I went to a phone box and rang myself.
They told me that my baby was ill but why had I phoned and not my husband, I explained he was at work but I didn’t mention that the policeman had gone for him.
Then asked me if I wanted him christened and what he was to be named.
I realized that if he was going to be christened it meant he was alive and might have a chance.
Most of the time I found it hard to talk and they sounded worried and told me ask John to phone as soon as he arrived home.
John arrived home five minutes later and he immediately went to the phone box.
Five minutes later he returned and I could see his face through the window as he came to the door.
I knew it was really bad. I was unprepared when he told me our son had died.
I cried for the whole day and way into the night.
John didn’t know what to do to help me. I don’t know how he felt as my own grief made me selfish and I never bothered to ask.
Try Again To Get Pregnant
It was just a few weeks later that I heard that the doctor who had given me the bad advice had a serious stroke so maybe his brain was slightly impaired at that time it is a possibility.
The loss of my baby made me long to try again so we went to see another doctor about it, he said that it was thousands to one chance of it happening again so I became pregnant again.
In the meantime we moved back to my home town, and everything was fine, we found out that I was expecting twins and I was overjoyed.
I was just coming up to six months of my pregnancy when it happened again, this time there was no warning signs.
I had a girl and boy but the boy never lived, the girl was put in an incubator and I was full of hope.
The following day when no one came to tell me how my baby was I called a sister and asked if my baby was alright.
Her response shocked me so much I must have cried for almost twenty four hours. I can still remember it clearly to this day.
She said â€œYou silly girl you donâ€™t expect it to be alive now do youâ€ I still feel so sad even now when I think of that.
I still had my yearning for a baby but John was against it now he couldnâ€™t bear the thought of it happening again.
In the meantime unknown to me my mother had seen the doctor and it had been arranged that if I did become pregnant again a specialist named Mr Parry Jones would see me in my third month of pregnancy.
It took a while before I could persuade John so it was the following year before I became pregnant, I reached three months pregnant and I went to see the specialist, he said that it was probably that the neck of the womb was weak and so it was arranged that when I reached four months pregnant I would have a stitch put in the cervix to strengthen it.
As this was 44 years ago it was then like pioneer surgery and not known if it would succeed.
Mr. Parry Jones told me that at the first sign of any pain I would have go into hospital as it would be a quick birth and the stitch would need to be removed in case it tore.
I was seven months pregnant when the pain started, I was taken into hospital straight away.
The following day the pain had disappeared and I was so relieved my worst fears hadn’t been realized.
Happy and Healthy Baby Boy
After a few days I expected to return home as every thing seemed fine but I was told I had to stay in. It was five weeks later when my son was finally born; he was three weeks early but a healthy 7lb 5oz.
We were overjoyed and it was hard to believe I finally had a baby.
Just a few months later John brought the talk round to babies, he said if we were to have another we should have them close so they could grow up together, I was not too keen but I gave in and before long I was pregnant again.
I felt more confident this time and my second son was born just one week early.
As they took me into hospital four weeks before the due time my hospital stay was much shorter.
We had no further thoughts of children as we were happy. It was about eighteen months later and I had been to bingo with my mother while John baby sat.
We were all sat in front of the fire when I felt terrible pain in my back.
When I complained John came out with I don’t know if you were a dog we’d have you put down a joke of course.
He really regretted that joke later, it was during the night when my son started crying I got up to see to him and passed out on his bed, I came to and went back to my bedroom, I had reached the door when I could feel myself going again.
I just managed to gasp John, and even though he was a sleep something must have registered because he was out of bed in an instant and caught me before I hit the floor.
I came round in bed and the pain was terrible.
John knew he had to call the doctor but he was so worried about leaving me but he had to go, we didn’t have a phone in those day and the phone box was half a mile a way.
The doctor came and a short time later I was rushed to the hospital with sirens blaring.
I really thought I was dying as the pain was unbearable.
It was the night before Xmas eve and the worst possible time to fall ill. They did tests and the following morning the nurses came rushing in, they just shoved the gown and socks etc on me and next thing I was in theatre.
A few hours later when I was back in bed john came in, he had been in tears as they had told him I had a fifty – fifty chance of coming through it.
I had an entopic pregnancy and the fallopian tube had split and I had been haemorrhaging internally for quite a long time, I received eight pints of blood Xmas day was my worst even though the whole family came.
I was in so much pain I couldn’t be bothered, even when Father Xmas came with a present I found it hard to raise a smile. I was told that they had removed one fallopian tube so any further pregnancies were unadvisable which didn’t worry me at that time.
More Pregnancy after My Entopic Pregnancy
My youngest son was almost four when I started longing for another child, I really wanted a daughter and I was prepared to risk it and try, John wasn’t to pleased but agreed after some persuasion so we tried again, I became pregnant four months later and although my doctor wasn’t to pleased I was happy.
All the usual treatment happened, I was used to it now and just had the odd worries now and again.
My prayers were answered when my daughter was born I felt now my family was complete.
Amanda was two when we made the decision to go to South Africa, It was a great experience and I loved the time we spent out there.
I went to work in private hospital and low and behold I was in the delivery rooms and theater, of course what happened! Seeing all those gorgeous babies coming into world made me feel broody again.
I was thirty seven by then and what made it worse was the doctor had told me I needed an operation due to the problems with my other babies, it meant I would not have any more children. I told him I wanted to try once more and I would have the operation after.
It was agreed and a few months I became pregnant for the last time.
My happiness was complete with the birth of my second daughter; I now had the complete family, two sons and two daughters.
They are of course all grown and married now and my family has grown by eight grand children and one great grand child.
We are back in England and although South Africa was great it was always my intention to return home, we stayed for seven years but I wanted to be back before any of my children could reach the age where they would make attachments because if that had happened I would never have returned home.